Mitt Romney's Hillarious New Shtick: Reverse Populist

Mitt Romney knows he's in danger of collapsing against John McCain today, so he has reinvented himself for the umpteenth time, this time as a populist leading a "citizen-revolution".   But it's a bizarre kind of populism the likes of which the world as never seen--and will probably never see again.    

It's as if Romney decided to stand Al Gore's "people versus the powerful" on its head.  Now it's the powerful versus the people, and Mitt Romney is the Howard Dean of the wealthiest one percent.

It may seem an unlikely role for a PowerPoint-loving, buttoned-down multimillionaire, but there Mr. Romney was, on stage Monday here in his starched white shirt and tie, raising his voice to be heard above the crowd and portraying himself as the anti-establishment insurgent.

"It’s time for the politicians to go and the citizens to come into Washington!" he said, drawing a roar from the several hundred gathered at his feet[...]

"Do you want a nominee who voted against the Bush tax cuts?" Mr. Romney shouted on Monday morning in Nashville, standing on a chair at the Pancake Pantry restaurant, his voice hoarse.

Nooo!

And he takes on campaign finance reform....

"Who helped write McCain-Feingold, that went after the First Amendment and hurt Republican fund-raising?"

Nooo![...]

And stands up for the ultimate little guy--the big oil company:

And the darts he hurls at Mr. McCain can feel a bit esoteric, like when he talks of oil drilling in Alaska: "Do you want to have as our nominee a person who voted to say no to drilling for oil in ANWR?"

Nooo!

And he takes on special interests....

"Do you want to have a nominee who voted to increase the minimum wage instead of cut it?"

Nooo!

Okay, actually I made the last one up, but it's not too far of a stretch.  Mitt Romney has crossed the line from dissembly into Onionesque self-parody, and I have to say, if he loses today, I will be kind of sad to see him go.  So let's help Mitt!

Can you think of any pseudo-populist lines that can help keep him afloat today?